‘I lost both my parents during my exams’

This month has been stressful for many but for Jack Andrews, third-year Criminology & Sociology student, it has been beyond heart-breaking and gruelling. 

Student | Jack Andrews

My parents Pauline Hart and Timothy Andrews both passed away within two weeks of each other this May whilst I was away at university finishing my final year exams.

On the 10th, my mum passed and I was inconsolable but with examinations in the way, I did not have time to sufficiently grieve. Two days later, my partner was hospitalised due to kidney complications. As distraught as I was, I visited and helped her from 10 am to 9 pm each day with tasks as simple as getting out of bed, walking and eating. Only when she was asleep was I able to phone my sisters and dad about my mum’s passing, and do some revision. On the 20th, I attended my exam and picked my partner up from St. Peter’s Hospital afterwards. My partner suffered from phlebitis as a result of the IV antibiotics treatment so I remained by her side to assist in any way that I could whilst revising for my second exam which was on the 24th — the day my dad passed.   With the passing of both my parents, I have gone straight home to be with my family, and to manage the intolerable list of tasks following their passing.

Nothing could possibly put to words how heart-broken I feel — I still have not found the time and space to fully comprehend what has happened and grieve.

They were just 60 and 58-years-old respectively. Neither my mum or dad had any savings of money or assets, nor any insurance for their funeral, therefore my grandparents, four siblings and I are trying to raise funds between us to help pay for their funerals and cremation. Being a student and having to sort out my mum’s rent and bills, I unfortunately cannot give my parents the basic cremation they need, or the funeral they deserve.

Some of you have asked where and how you could donate towards their funerals, so I thought I would make this donation page if you would like to contribute to their memory and help give them a final farewell they both deserve. Thank you all. Any and all donations are hugely appreciated, and we are forever grateful. In the case that there are any excess donations after the funerals are paid, it will be split evenly and donated to both Parkinson’s UK and MIND mental health charity.

Link to donations for the funeral and cremation of Pauline Hart, and the funeral and cremation of Timothy Andrews.

Pauline Hart

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Mother – Grandmother – Daughter – Sister

My mum, Pauline Hart, was a loving mother to myself and my siblings, grandmother to all my young nieces and nephews, and beloved daughter to my nan. She was a very caring lady by nature and spent most of her working life as an auxiliary nurse looking after elderly people in the community. Unfortunately, my mother was also a very sick lady, and her nursing career was cut short when she had to register herself as disabled in her late 30s. She succumbed to her illnesses and was no longer able to work. My mum was later diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 2012 and this degenerative illness slowly started to take my mum away from me, my siblings, her grandchildren, and her own mother. However, she was not deterred from staying true to her nature by helping those in the community. Whilst she was unable to work in the latter years of her life, my mum devoted herself to the local community and those in need by volunteering as a telephone befriender for Age UK, and as a member of the Parkinson’s UK Committee. Even though she battled through debilitating pain and illness, she still put others first. She tried to help my dad through some of his difficult times dealing with loneliness and depression toward the end of their lives, and later, cancelled her own funeral insurance in order to pay for her dog’s vet fees. My parents were both long separated but remained best friends to the end, and they both took comfort in being there for each other.

I love you, Mum. Don’t be in pain anymore.

You may not be able to make it to my graduation, but you gave me the tools to make it there myself and made me the man I am today.

 

Timothy Andrews

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Father – Grandfather – Son – Brother

My dad, Timothy Andrews, was a doting and caring, loveable man who wore his heart on his sleeves. He loved and lived for his family – his parents, children and grandchildren, who meant more to him than anything in the world. He was a right soppy sod and was not afraid to show his affections. He spent a majority of his working life until his passing as a bricklayer. He was a very work proud man, he would always claim:

Rome wasn’t built in a day… because I wasn’t on that job.

I knew from a very early age how caring and giving my father was. One Christmas when I was a child, he prepared and made Christmas dinners for the elderly people in the community who were alone and being visited by my mum who delivered the meals Christmas Day. My dad was a workaholic, a great father, a loving grandfather, and my best mate. He had an awesome sense of humour and an infectious laugh. Sadly, with this great sense of humour and kindness, came great inward loneliness, social anxiety, and depression which affected him immensely. This worsened in the last year of his life after his mother’s death in 2018. Due to his age, afflictions, and long career in a very physical profession, my dad struggled to walk towards the end of his life as his knees were starting to give way and he was in incredible pain. He loved work, so much so that he never went abroad or gave himself a holiday in the 60 years of his life. In the past, when I asked my dad what he would do about his retirement financially, he would say he did not plan on retiring and would “work until he dropped” – which unfortunately, is what he did. You can rest now,

Dad. I love you, 2, 3, 4 ever.

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My mum and dad were not the wealthiest of people and lived modest lifestyles, but they both did the best job they knew how to do, and with what they had. They were both extremely caring and benevolent people, full of love for their children, grandchildren and parents, which is something that I will keep with me and be proud of, forever.

Link to donations for the funeral and cremation of Pauline Hart, and the funeral and cremation of Timothy Andrews.

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