What to expect this summer…
By Charlie Catmull
1) Rain and mud; lots of mud
Everyone knows that the English summertime weather is not the most reliable on the planet, and summer 2017 will probably be no different. For some the rain and the inevitable mud that swamps entire camp sites can put them off the idea of festivals, but for others it becomes an invitation to thrive in grime the likes of which you probably won’t see until festival season returns again. All I can say is, whether you’re doing five days at Glasto or a single day festival like Citadel, don’t forget a poncho. And wellies. And more ponchos. They will save your life.
2) The hell-hole festival toilets
Unless you’re willing to spend £50 on luxury toilets, instead of saving that hard-earned cash for more beers, the likelihood is you will have to brave, at some point, no matter how hard you resist, the toilet blocks. The all-around gross-looking, cold, metal, tin-can resembling toilet blocks found at festivals such as Reading and Leeds remind me of slaughterhouses. Which works as a pretty accurate image as the one thing that is going to be slaughtered is your sense of smell. I would suggest tying a top around your lower face to try and resist the stench but if not just hold your breath and try to get the ordeal over with as quickly as possible.
3) Expensive items that are not normally expensive
“Can of Coke, please.”
“That’ll be £3.”
4) Out-dated chants
I would easily bet my life savings that you will hear ‘Steve’ responded to by ‘Alan’ shouted regularly across camp sites. This UK festival tradition will likely still be done for decades to come, as there is nothing British people find more humorous than meerkat jokes. As annoying as they are, they still refuse to leave (much like Piers Morgan from my Twitter feed).
5) Great live music and probably the best weekend of your life
Because it’s not all doom and gloom this summer.
Featured image courtesy of Timeout